Most people who read about toxic relationship patterns instinctively map them onto a partner, an ex, or someone else's relationship. Turning that same lens on yourself is uncomfortable, but it's a more useful exercise — because almost nobody who behaves badly in a relationship experiences it, from the inside, as behaving badly.
A few honest questions can help: Do you find yourself needing to know where your partner is and who they're with, more out of anxiety than genuine interest? Do arguments regularly end with you convinced you're right and them convinced they're crazy for feeling hurt? Do you use guilt, silence, or withdrawal of affection as a way to get your way, even if you wouldn't describe it that bluntly? Do your partner's friends or family seem to like you less the longer they know you?
None of these questions are meant to produce a diagnosis from a single yes. They're meant to interrupt the reflex of assuming you're always the reasonable one in a conflict. Toxic patterns are usually learned, often from earlier relationships or family dynamics, and recognizing them in yourself is a prerequisite for changing them — not a life sentence.
If this reflection turns up something real, the constructive next step isn't self-punishment. It's a genuine look at the pattern, ideally with the outside perspective of a therapist, and a real effort to do better in the next relationship — or this one, if it's not too late.